New Moon Twist: Bella's Choice
by Bella'sBrain
Summary: What happens when Edward comes back during New Moon of his own volition? Will Bella forgive him or he is too late? How will Charlie handle his return? How will Jacob? This story follows Bella's inner turmoil as she struggles to trust Edward again and reconcile her feelings for Jacob. (May change to M)
1. The Return

A/N: I've always loved reading New Moon spin-offs, so I figured I would try one. I'd love to hear your feedback!

Disclaimer: I own nothing; it's all Stephenie Meyer.

I could feel the heat radiating from Jake's body and I happily snuggled into him. He had one hand firmly on the steering wheel and the other wrapped around me. The muscles in his chest were taut beneath me, but they were also soft and warm and I couldn't help comparing the feel of him against me to the cool marble I once knew. An ancient ache flared in my heart and I hugged Jake tighter to me. He responded by nuzzling his cheek against the top of my head.

"You okay, honey?" he asked gently. I nodded against him and he seemed content with that reply. Only recently did he stop pursuing the notorious look on my face when I was reminded of _him_. I remembered sitting in Jake's living room on the couch with him the last time he brought it up.

* * *

_We were watching a movie Emily recommended, though it was about halfway through and I was dozing off on Jake's chest. He was practically cradling me in his arms, with my head tucked beneath his chin and my body curled against him. Lately, our interactions had become much more intimate and I knew Jake noticed but he never pressed me about it. It just felt easy and natural, a concept I thought was completely eradicated from my life._

_In the past few months, I felt myself beginning to heal in strange ways. In the safety of Jacob's embrace, staring at his neck and hidden from the world, I could admit that his presence was slowly filling the gaping hole in my heart. I could absolve myself of the guilt I felt in knowing how he chased away my nightmares and brought back little pieces of me. I realized the weight of his role in my life and my utter dependence on him to function. I knew Jacob would never exploit that vulnerability, but I still felt incredibly stupid to once again put myself at someone's mercy. _

_He felt me tense in his arms and lifted my head to meet his eyes. I saw the concern in his expression and fought my welling tears, because it was no use. What was I supposed to tell him? "I'm angry that I love you because I won't be able to bear it if you leave?" The thought was pathetically repulsive to me and I burrowed my chin back down in an attempt to avoid him, and the subject along with it. _

_His gentle, but persistent hold kept me in his gaze and I struggled to mask my emotions. "Bella," he whispered, the word laden with wretched affection. I squeezed my eyes shut to block him out, but I could still feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest against mine. He was too close and I was falling and helpless to stop it. _

_I forced myself to open my eyes again and his eyes were fierce on me, trying to compel my thoughts out with his gaze. "Please talk to me," he begged and I strained more, hearing the note of anguish in his tone. This was the problem with our ever-mounting relationship; our thoughts and feelings were so intertwined. My hurt was his hurt and on some days, I was desperate to exploit that tie in an effort to relieve the crushing burden on my heart. It was selfish and ugly, but it was how I had survived until now and Jake was always devastatingly eager to take my burdens for me. But today, I couldn't let him. _

_I took a deep breath and willed myself to be honest, "You make me feel whole." I watched my words elate him and I felt disgusting but I ventured on. "I know how hard you're trying to fix me and I love you for it. But Jake, I don't know if you can- if anyone can. Some days I think you have and then- then it hits me all over again and I-" my words started to falter and he shushed me, pulling my head to his shoulder. _

"_It's okay Bells. I know you don't have it all figured out yet. Just do the best you can, okay?" he whispered tenderly. I wanted to recoil at his kindness because I knew I didn't deserve it, but I found myself nodding weakly into his neck. And then a fresh round of guilt festered in me as my sweet Jacob tried again, "Just tell me what makes it better." _

_I knew the answer immediately but pondered over whether I was selfish enough to voice it. "This," I confessed into the crook of his neck, hating myself for meaning it. He nodded wordlessly and rubbed my back until I felt asleep._

* * *

We didn't speak again until he pulled into my driveway. "I know you're just grabbing some clothes, but can I come in with you?" he asked, already leaning to open his car door. I knew he was anxious to leave me alone and for sick reasons of my own, I was anxious to let him so I nodded and got out of the truck. The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon and the sky was filled with a beautiful pink and purple sunset.

Charlie would probably be home soon, so I checked to make sure there was enough food in the fridge for him. Jake just watched me silently as I maneuvered around the house. I headed up to my bedroom for some clothes since I had taken up the habit of sleeping at Jake's. Sleeping _with_ Jake was a more accurate description since I convinced him not to take the couch on the second night, but I barely passed off the former idea to Charlie, so I certainly would not muck up my new arrangement with the truth. It was concocted after Jake and I feel asleep in the living room and I slept peacefully through the night for the first time in six months.

I know Charlie was relieved but he was also a father of an eighteen year old daughter, so he wasn't ecstatic about the idea of me staying at the Black's overnight. Billy was surprisingly receptive to the idea initially and only more supportive after he tasted my french toast, so the plan naturally fell into place. We spent about half the week sleeping at my house and the after half at Jake's. Jake usually snuck into my bedroom after Charlie fell asleep, which worked out fine since he would get up atrociously early to phase and handle pack stuff anyway. My new routine became eerily familiar to the one I had before _he _left, but I didn't let myself dwell on that fact often and I simply focused on maintaining my sanity.

"Almost ready?" he asked, peeking his head into my room. I nodded and he came to hug me from behind. I softened into him, leaning my head back against his shoulder. In a sudden motion, Jake had me pinned against my bedroom wall and I scrambled to face him. His body was rigid and I felt the snarls rippling through his chest. I took his face in my hands and I struggled to calm him, perplexed by the wild look in his eyes.

Over his shoulder, I saw a twitch of movement near my bedroom door and then my weight went out from under me as I fell to my knees. There was a faint ringing in my ears and I could feel the harsh pants being forcefully expelled from my body. My eyes burned as they ran over his form. There was dark purple rings under his onyx eyes which bored into me. I felt a sick sense of pleasure at the vividness of my imagination; he seemed so staggeringly real in front of me.

Jake slid down next to me, partially supporting my legs and squeezed my shoulders to his chest. I gripped his shirt desperately between my fingers and tried to cling to some semblance of reality. I dug my chin into his shoulder and moaned out helplessly, "Jake, I think I'm losing it. Please." I didn't know what I was pleading for because I couldn't bring myself to will the beautiful figment to disappear. Jake laughed harshly in disgust and I distantly wondered if he finally grew contempt for my incessant infatuation, but I couldn't actively process that thought because everything in me was transfixed by the pale being before me.

"Bella," Jake said, his hot breath on my ear making me shudder. "Honey, that's him. This is real." His words and his tone of revulsion made no sense to me. The phantom looked at me with a devastated smile and whispered my name, ripping me to shreds. I made a noise I didn't know I was capable of and Jake held me fiercely, growling. _He _stepped toward us and Jake's voice rang out, clear and dangerous, "Don't."

I felt everything in me collapse as I suddenly understood and my body was overcome with the tide of pain, confusion and overriding joy. I scrambled feebly to get to him, terrified he would be gone in an instant. As I got to my feet and darted across the room, Jake jumped up behind me and grabbed my wrist. I looked back at him and saw the raw devastation written on his face. My heart was writhing with every beat to cross the room and get back to him but it wavered infinitesimally there in Jacob's broken gaze. I tried to muster the decency to stay and failed miserably with a single, desperate utterance, "_Please_."

His hold immediately lessened and I ran to _him_. I stopped about six inches short and stared. I spoke the word I had avoided even thinking for the first time in six months and relished in the painful pleasure it unleashed on my tongue, "Edward?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella." His voice was low and rich and riddled with agony. I felt as if it physically struck me and my knees quaked for a second time. He flashed toward me and caught me in his arms. His cool forehead pressing into mine as his stone arms encircled me. I couldn't fathom his presence and yet, I was never more grateful for anything in my life. I felt the sobs wracking my body before I heard them and I clutched him against me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." he whispered it again into my hair and I willed his words to be true with everything in me. And then something cracked inside me. _When he leaves again, it will kill me._

I stiffened in his arms and tried to back away. Jacob growled behind me and as soon as Edward realized my effort, he released me. I stumbled backward a few steps until my back met Jacob's chest. "Why are you here?" My voice was low but it was strong, despite my unraveling insides. Edward's eyes flashed with hurt and I resisted the urge to go back to him. He swallowed unnecessarily and answered, "I came back for you. I should never have left you and I will never make that mistake again. I promise you, Bella."

I shivered at the sound of my name on his lips. I could _feel_ the rumbling in Jacob's chest as he heard Edward's words. I slowly turned to him and placed my hand over his heart, ignoring the blatant hurt in his eyes. "You need to calm down. You know he won't hurt me."

I knew instantly that I chose the wrong words as Jacob snarled in dissent, his eyes blazing. I was suddenly snatched across the room with Edward in front of me in a defensive stance, "He's not in control, Bella." Edward's voice was level but firm and I felt a molten hot sense of fury overcome me.

"Jacob would _never_ hurt me. Jacob would never-" The initial fierce anger in my voice abruptly cut off with my tears. They both marginally relaxed and turned to me in bewilderment. _How dare he?_

I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to continue, "I would be dead without him." I whispered the declaration, not trusting my voice at a normal octave. Edward's eyes softened and I could see the anguish in his eyes but he needed to know. This was my life now, or what was left of it and Jake was an integral part. He reached out as if to touch me and then faltered, turning back to Jake, "I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm so sorry."

His tone was riddled with guilt and sincerity and it washed over me like a wave of hope. I tried to keep my emotions in check and tell myself this was all temporary. The thought burned holes in my mind, but I knew it was nothing compared to the pain of him leaving and I needed to prepare myself as best as I could for its inevitable return.

The sound of Charlie's cruiser in the driveway pulled me from my reverie and I spoke his name for the second time that night, "Edward." It was an unnecessary warning, but I pathetically savored the way his name sounded aloud and ached internally wondering when it would cease to exist again. He flitted toward me and brushed his fingers against my temple. I instinctively leaned into his hand, reveling in the feel of him touching me.

He cupped my cheeks in his hands and the intensity in his eyes overwhelmed me. "I will come back as soon as he's asleep. I promise you, Bella." he vowed solemnly. I closed my eyes then, knowing he would leave and not bearing to watch him go again.

Jake immediately came to wrap his arms around me and I nearly collapsed in them. He led me to my bed and we sat intertwined as I sobbed. I buried my face in his chest and tried to reconcile the past few minutes that had shattered the small foundation of normalcy I'd built and restored the air in my lungs in one fell swoop. Jake tried to quiet me as the front door opened, "Shhh… honey, it's okay. Look at me." I dutifully lifted my head and stared at his blurry face through my tears.

"Bella," he started firmly, the typical boyish gleam in his eyes replaced by a more adamant devotion. "I know this a lot right now, but I need you to hear me: I will never leave you. No matter what, I am not going anywhere." I shuddered at his words and held him tighter, invigorated by the truth behind his promise. I _knew_ he wouldn't leave me and maybe, just maybe, he could get me through whatever came next.

He chuckled and added, "I might have to leave you now though to get some clothes. If we sleep in LaPush tonight, I think the treaty might be broken." I allowed myself a small smile and nodded in agreement.

He went to stand up but I kept my grip on him and he smiled, leaning into me. "Bells, I promise." he whispered, kissing my cheek gently. I reluctantly slid off and headed downstairs. Charlie called out from the kitchen and Jake followed me to say hi before going to LaPush. Charlie's face immediately brightened when he saw Jake and never waned when Jake mentioned he would be back shortly. He pecked me once more on the cheek as he left and I tried to fend off my furious blush, knowing Charlie was watching. Charlie certainly wasn't complaining about the PDA as I pulled out a chair next to him while he ate. His face took on a more serious expression though.

"Bella, we need to have a discussion." he announced, in his fatherly tone, which was exclusively reserved for talks about death and Edward. I unsuccessfully stifled a grimace in anticipation.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading my story and stay tuned for the next chapter- coming soon! Any ideas what Charlie will speak to Bella about?


	2. The Talk

A/N: I kinda like this chapter since Bella gets a moment with all of the men in her life (Charlie included). Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"_Bella, we need to have a discussion." he announced, in his fatherly tone, which was exclusively reserved for talks about death and Edward. I unsuccessfully stifled a grimace in anticipation. _

I exhaled heavily and nodded, signaling him to begin whatever onslaught he intended. Charlie looked at me with the oddest expression and I suddenly felt like I was five years old and I had just skinned my knee on my bike. "Bella, I know I don't tell you a lot, but you know how much I love you right?" his voice was thick with an emotion I couldn't place.

"Of course, Dad." I reassured him delicately. In most father-daughter conversations, I'm sure his statement would be considered common, but I knew how rarely Charlie expressed his feelings and my concern increased as to what he wanted to discuss.

"I just want you to be happy," he began and I immediately became guarded, fearing this topic. "I am happy, Dad." I stated as firmly as I could manage and he grimaced back at me in return.

"Bella, I know how upset you were when… Edward left." I flinched, knowing he was no doubt picturing my many bad months and Edward was likely nearby, listening. Charlie mistook my response and assumed I had responded to Edward's name, like usual.

"But you need to understand something; there isn't just one person out there for everyone." His words were absolute and I was struck by his confidence in that notion. I wondered how he would factor vampire soulmates into that rationale if he knew, but I didn't question him.

"I'm not saying your connection with the guy wasn't serious; believe me, I- I was completely lost without Renée." His voice was softer at the end and I was floored at my father's concession. He never spoke about his relationship with my mother and I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that he still loved her, but his admission still shocked me.

I found my voice and tried to be comforting, "I'm so sorry Dad." He bristled at my comment, but trudged on. "It was years ago and I moved on. That's my point, Bells. Let Jacob help you move on." His voice lowered considerably at the end and I could tell he was dreading my reaction. I just froze and scrambled to find a coherent response. I felt staggeringly idiotic; of course Charlie knew, we'd been sleeping in the same bed under his roof for a month. He was once again more perceptive than I gave him credit for and guessed at my thoughts.

"I don't care, Bella." he voice lurched in sadness and I reached out to touch his arm. I hadn't casually touched Charlie since I was a child, but I felt responsible for his pain and desperate to ease it. "You haven't slept in six goddamn months and he makes it easier." He said the words in a rush as if they would be less impactful that way. Charlie had never spoken this much to me at once and I feared from the look on his face that he would continue, but I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Every night, I'd sleep in the hallway or just stare at you waiting for the screaming and then he came and it stopped. That's not nothing," he said resolutely and I found myself nodding, wanting to convince him that I understood.

"I know, Dad. And I'm sorry I-" He held up a hand. "Don't you dare apologize, Bella." His voice was hard for the first time in the conversation, so I didn't push him.

"I do care about Jake. I'm just not- not ready yet." I faltered a little and I felt embarrassed, not even because of Charlie, but because I knew Edward was listening and I didn't want to hurt him. Charlie looked at me, enthusiastic about my concession and I ventured another.

"You know I'm just getting my footing and Jake helps with that. I'm just taking it a day at a time for now." He nodded in approval of that plan and added one more weighty declaration, "Just remember what Jake does for you and understand that you deserve that- from whoever you end up with." His tone implied finality to the discussion, but I felt dizzyingly grateful for my father in that moment.

He stood abruptly, clearing his throat, and grabbed his plate, "Alright, there's probably a game on. I'll put you out of your misery." I stood with him and gave him a quick one-armed hug to which he grunted in reply in typical Charlie-fashion. I took the plate from him along with his cup and silverware and made my way to the sink.

I heard the door open as I turned the faucet on and I knew Jake was back before I felt him behind me. He looped his hands around my waist and rested his head atop mine as I scrubbed Charlie's plate. Between his body heat around me and warm water running over my hands, I felt contentedly warm. I mulled over my father's words and wondered if I should have told him about Edward coming back. I quickly reasoned giving my father a heart attack would not have simplified the situation, but I decided to brainstorm a more palatable way to broach the subject with him tomorrow.

Jake leaned down, tickling my ear with his breath, "What are you thinking about?" I smiled to myself, wanting to rub in his failed stealth efforts at night, "Charlie wants us to elope." I _felt_ more than heard the rumble in his chest.

"Fine by me, quick and dirty," he laughed, kissing my temple. I tried to suppress the tension his kiss brought to my stomach. I doubted I would feel that way if I didn't know Edward was out there waiting for me. _I shouldn't feel guilty- he left me for six months._ What if I had moved on? I bitterly wished it could be so easy. Charlie wanted me to be with Jacob. Jacob wanted me to be with Jacob. But did I?

I blanched for a moment pondering that thought- _had I already moved on?_ I had been with Jake for two months now all day every day and we felt like magnets, tied to each other. I felt like was on the cusp; I was right there with Jake and I could so easily cross that boundary with him. But I functioned with him out of necessity, because I used to function with Edward and he left. So where did that leave me?

I was drawn back to reality when I realized Jake was watching my face and I knew he could read me like a book. He narrowed his eyes in concentration and huffed out a breath. "Why don't you go take a shower honey? You need to think some things through," his voice was tight, but he didn't let his underlying feelings slip through. I stared at him in astonishment as he leaned down to kiss my cheek, "I'll be watching the game with Charlie." He strode out of the kitchen without a backward glance and I listened to him turn up the baseball game, giving me privacy.

I turned off the faucet and exhaled heavily, knowing Edward would be waiting for me in my bedroom. I didn't know how to face him or what to say, but I also couldn't quench the thrill I felt knowing he was here. I bounded up the stairs, catching the fleeting sound of Jacob and Charlie cheering for something on the TV.

When I entered my bedroom, it was the first time in my life that I felt uncertain about being there. I had grown up in this house and always considered my room to be a haven of sorts, but I was hesitant now. I saw him sitting quietly in the rocking chair beside my bed and my breath caught seeing his face illuminated by the moonlight coming through my window. He made no movement toward me, but his eyes followed me as I made my way over.

I saw the love fixed in his gaze and I couldn't help but question it now, which made my chest spasm in pain. I sat on my bed and took a moment to compose myself, "Will you come sit with me?" He carefully stood up and moved toward me at human speed, before sitting down beside me. I reached up and traced my fingers across the side of his face, over his cheekbone, and then his lips. He kissed my fingers and a shudder wracked my body as my nerves overcame me. I felt like I was defusing a bomb that would undoubtedly go off any moment, decidedly killing me. Surely, I was a maniac for wanting to keep touching it.

I stared into his eyes and I was compelled to release the fear festering in my body before it destroyed me. I wasn't eloquent or tactful but I was honest, "Did you lie or do you truly not love me?" My voice breaking in a painful gasp at the end was certainly not eloquent.

"Oh my Bella," he exhaled, pulling me to him. His body enveloped mine and his words flowed ardently and forcefully into my hair, "I lied darling. I lied and you believed me so easily. How can you doubt my love for you? How can you not know how utterly, insatiably in love I am with you?" His mouth was at my ear and my whole body trembled in relief. I felt the ice gripping my heart shatter and it beat freely for the first time in six months.

I cried into his neck, unable to meet his gaze as my vulnerability poured out, "Why would you lie? Why would you leave me?" He didn't answer at first, but his arms grew almost uncomfortably tight around me as he clutched me to him. He gently lifted my face to his and his eyes were smoldering, "I thought I was keeping you safe. I thought I knew what was best for you, but, Bella, I was wrong. I will never leave you again unless you tell me to go; I can't."

I ached to believe him with everything in me, but when his mouth moved toward mine, a sound escaped me. I pulled away in self-preservation even as I watched the hurt register in his eyes because it was basic survival for me. His eyes searched mine, imploring them to tell him why and I couldn't decide which action would hurt him more; silence or the truth.

"Bella," he said roughly. "Am I too late?" His voice broke and I felt my own tears resume. If I was being honest with myself, I didn't know how to answer that yet, but I opted for a definitive truth instead. I stared at his chest, unable to meet his eyes as I spoke, "If I kiss you now and you leave again, it will kill me this time." He groaned low in his throat and crushed me to his chest. His lips moved against my forehead and I felt him shivering. I had never known a vampire could shiver but he did so violently as he held me. "I _saw_. I saw what I did to you and I'll never forgive myself but I _will_ spend the rest of my existence making it up to you, Bella. I will regain your trust and you will know the inexorable truth in my words when I say I will never leave you again."

I sighed heavily against his shoulder and tried to fight off the unadulterated hope swelling in my chest. "Can you just hold me for tonight?" I asked and he immediately shifted us so I was lying on my back with his arms cradling me. "Of course, my love."

I snuggled into him and began to drift off as he hummed my lullaby. I felt whole and at peace in his arms and the rest of our problems could wait until tomorrow. Only that wasn't really true, because my body immediately went rigid as I heard Jake's footsteps coming upstairs.

A/N: What will Jacob do?


	3. The Dream

A/N: Happy New Year Everyone! Thank you very much to Jullls and Daydreamer116 for reviewing- this is chapter is for you!

The Dream

Nothing could have prepared me for the way his face crumpled when he walked in and saw me in Edward's arms. He fell back against the door like I had physically struck him and I watched the pain in his face contort into anger. Edward sat up next to me and whispered quietly, "Bella, you need to breathe." I immediately obeyed and felt the white, hot burn of oxygen returning to my lungs. _Good_. I thought bitterly; I deserved to burn.

His eyes penetrated me, staring straight through me like I wasn't even there and I wished I wasn't. I wished I could sink into the floorboards and disintegrate because I caused the one person who stood by me unconditionally unspeakable pain. "Jake," I begged, my voice hoarse. But what could I ask him for? What could I ask from the person who had already given me everything?

His voice was level and detached when he spoke, "You forgave him? Just like that?" I let it radiate over me and I tried to gather the decency to just let him hate me without a fight. "After what he did to you?" his voice rose substantially and I cringed away from it, futilely trying to escape his words and my betrayal behind them.

When I met his eyes again, he was looking past me with a bitter smile on his face. I couldn't understand his expression until I looked at Edward and saw his body just inches from me, but his eyes glazed over in horror, miles away. Every muscle in my body jerked toward him and I shook his shoulders. His eyes were like saucers, filled with dread and his hands sat numbly in his lap.

"_You_ did that to her," he spit at Edward and everything clicked in my mind with sickening clarity.

"Jacob, please don't," I moaned helplessly. He focused back on me and I felt Edward's body relax microscopically against mine.

"Don't _what_, Bella? Hurt him?" he sneered, looking back at Edward in disgust. I leapt off the bed and walked closer to him, but he moved back instinctively and I felt something inside me convulse.

"Jake, I just- I just need some time to-" He cut me off with thinly veiled agony in his voice, "To plan our Vegas wedding with Alice?" I felt each word rip into me and I wracked my brain, desperate for him not to leave me.

"You promised," I whispered brokenly, feeling like the true monster situated between a werewolf and a vampire. His eyes softened and he closed the distance between us, leaning his forehead heavily against mine. The warmth emanating from his skin surrounded me and our breaths intermingled. "Just _think_, Bella. Think about what you want, please." he implored softly. I felt frozen in place as he kissed my cheek for the final time that night and walked out of my bedroom. I heard him tread lightly down the stairs, careful not to wake Charlie and out the front door, still unable to move.

"Bella," I heard Edward's voice, insistent, behind me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't think I could handle the pain I knew I would see there. He gently pulled me to face him and his urgent tone persisted, "Bella, I can go get him." I listened to his words and couldn't fathom them. I didn't deserve either of them.

"No," my voice rang clear, despite everything in my body feeling weak and broken. "Not tonight. I just want to be with you," I murmured, leaning into his chest. He automatically wrapped his arms around me, but I sensed his hesitancy.

"Whatever Jacob showed you doesn't matter; you're here now." I said confidently, willing him to accept it. He nodded weakly, unconvinced.

I took a different tact, resting my hands on his neck and bringing my face close to his, "Edward, are you ever going to leave me again?" As soon as the words left my lips, he growled "never" fiercely. I took a shaky breath and leaned closer until I was directly over his mouth, "Then nothing else matters."

It was like coming up for air after drowning for months. My mouth was frantic against his and he gripped me tightly to him. My hands tangled themselves in his hair and I came up for air gasping, but he simply moved to my jaw. His kisses moved up the side of my face to my forehead, over my eyelids, down the bridge of my nose and finally back to my mouth. I never hated being human more than I did in that moment, because my incessant need for air kept halting me and I never wanted to stop.

He just held me as I let out strangled breaths, watching my dazed eyes watching his. "You're trapped now," I murmured gleefully triumphant. "If you leave after that, I'll never survive." He grinned back at me and kissed my neck gingerly, testing the ability of my heart to leap from its chest.

"I will gladly be your prisoner," he vowed against my neck. I shuddered and allowed myself the temporary bliss of indulging in hope. _He would stay with me._ I felt like a drug addict reaching once again for heroine, resolved that it was better to go out in a fiery blaze than to ache in want for the rest of my life. Maybe he would leave again and it would kill me, but I could imagine no greater demise than his lips on my skin and the life thrumming through my veins.

"You, are, _everything_, to, me, Bella," he punctuated each word with a brief, vehement kiss again my lips. I shuddered at the sincerity in his voice and the feel of his mouth on mine. I yawned into his mouth by accident and giggled, a little high from the kiss.

Edward stilled though and my brow creased, staring at him and trying to decipher my error. His eyes were pained as he placed a scorching kiss on my forehead and sighed heavily.

"Maybe my indignation is unjust," he began carefully. "But what the hell have you been up to since I left?" I winced, unsure exactly what Jake had showed him and scared to reveal anything new in my answer. My eyes ran over Edward's face trying to understand if he was upset about cliff diving or my new sleeping habits. Neither were a topic I intended to broach tonight if I could get away with it.

"What...um… exactly would you be referring to?" I asked, feigning ignorance. He growled low in his throat and muttered angrily, "Extreme sports."

Relief coursed through me and I smiled despite myself. Maybe Jacob _had_ showed him the rest and maybe he was saving that onslaught for another night, but I was still grateful for the time to sort out an explanation. His face was incredulous as I began to recount my adventures with motorcycles and cliff diving, editing out the more gory details. He said nothing but his grip on my elbows grew unconsciously tighter with each tale.

"You said you would be careful." he said with great restraint, huffing out each word like an accusation. I thought about my response to that and tried to wipe the emotion from my voice, delivering my retort, "You said you didn't love me."

My mask of emotion wasn't nearly as successful as I intended and we both heard the underlying agony in my voice. He wistfully kissed my lips, trying to convey the depths of his devotion all at once and the results left me excruciatingly dizzy. He finally pulled back to allow me air and I panted shamelessly against his cheek.

He tried to test my level of incoherency and added, "My lie didn't threaten your life." I saw the flash of regret in his eyes as soon as the words were out and his body tightened underneath mine.

"I beg to differ," I said softly, not meeting his eyes. I felt my heartbeat stutter remembering the earth-shattering pain of the last few months without him. He caught my chin and brought my face up to reconnect our eyes and I was bombarded by the blatant sorrow and apology swimming in them. I just nodded, not needing him to say it all over again.

His eyes looked lost for a minute as he gazed over my shoulder. He gripped my face tighter and his voice shook, "You could have drowned."

I shook my head, immediately dismissing the notion. "Jake would never have let me." My confident reassurance seemed to cause him more stress than relief. His eyes darkened considerably and I watched an emotion take root in his features that I had never seen before. Guilt writhed in my stomach as I identified it as jealousy.

"Yes," he began shakily. "And then there's that." I felt my heart plummeting into my stomach as he avoided my eyes. He drew in an unsteady breath and continued, "You love him."

It wasn't a question or an accusation, but it was a simple, raw statement of fact. I stopped breathing as I struggled to formulate a response. I couldn't outright lie and I knew whatever Jacob showed him was particularly compelling, because despite never voicing that truth to Jake, it bled out in every interaction I shared with him. He nodded in acknowledgment of my silence, brushing his hand painstakingly across my cheek.

"It doesn't matter. I love you infinitely more," I vowed adamantly, cupping his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me.

"I haven't- I haven't…" I stuttered on the overwhelming truth of my words. "_Breathed _without you." I reinforced the point by blissfully gulping in the air between our mouths and he gave me a small smile.

"And here I was thinking that I took your breath _away_." I was instantly grateful that the mood was lightening. I intended to absorb and capitalize on whatever time I still had with him. Tomorrow. Forever. Regardless, I would make it count. I reconnected our lips and at some point, I think I fell asleep against his mouth.

_When I became aware of my surroundings again, I was in the forest near the cliffs and a heavy sense of dread overcame me. I whipped my head around to catch a glimpse of her fiery red hair streaking by. Victoria. _

_I could hear her high, musical laugh echoing off the trees around me, but every time I settled my eyes on her, she flitted away. A fierce growl caught my attention to the right and I saw Jake emerge in his russet coat from the trees. I wanted to rush to him, but in typical nightmarish fashion, my legs felt like bricks. _

"_Jake." I called out to him and he sprinted over, nuzzling his furry head against my cheek. I held him tightly around his neck, mostly out of fear but also because I was grateful to have him back at my side. His eyes conveyed his fierce devotion and he whined affectionately in my embrace. _

_The tree to our right crashed loudly as Victoria slammed down on it, launching from its branch straight at us. I felt the snarls erupt in Jake's chest as he crouched protectively in front of me. Her blood-red eyes met mine and she smiled wickedly when her body collided with Jake's. I heard a sickening crack and his soft whimper before his body went limp against mine. _

"_Jacob!" I screamed and it felt like every muscle in my body shredded all at once. My chest heaved as I cried out his name again in absolute agony, frantically clutching where my heart used to be. It was like the very Earth was shaking with the depths of my anguish. _

"Bella! Bella honey please hear me!" His voice finally penetrated my consciousness and I realized it was his hands shaking my shoulders, not the collapse of the world.

"Jake?" my voice was barely a croak. My anxiety lessened with each passing second as I noted more of reality, like his persistent breaths against my cheek and his hard grip on my collarbone.

"Yes honey, it was just a bad dream. I'm here now," he clutched me to him, reaffirming his words. My breathing became progressively steadier as I found purchase on reality in the crook of his neck. My lips dragged over his pulse point, indulging in the feel of his rapid pulse and its proof that he was alive.

"Bella." He said it roughly, but didn't follow up with anything more. I finally lifted my head to see his warm brown eyes looking back at me in concern. A creaking sound nearby made me jolt in his arms, wrapping myself fearfully around each of his limbs and burrowing into his chest.

"Easy honey," he whispered in a soothing tone. "It's just Charlie checking on you. He was so scared when you started again." I flinched in his arms, knowing my poor father was probably on the verge of a heart attack because of me. I hadn't woken up screaming in a long time and I felt the familiar burn in my throat. I wondered for a moment if it was vaguely similar to bloodlust.

_Bloodlust._ "Oh my god, where is he?" I practically shrieked and Jake stiffened.

"He, uh, left for the night but he'll be back in the morning." I could tell how hard it was for Jake to try to reassure me about Edward and guilt festered in my chest knowing how difficult it must have been for Edward to leave as I cried for Jacob. Charlie shuffled again outside the door and I realized how deeply I was hurting all the men I loved.


	4. The Reunion

The Reunion

When I first woke, my brain struggled to reorient itself to my surroundings. The easiest thing to detect was the feel of Jake's flaming body wrapped around mine. I carefully extracted myself from his embrace and instantly felt colder without him. He was completely dead to the world and I stared at the calm expression on his sleeping face. He looked so young with his features relaxed and I ran my hand gently along the side of his face. I quickly dropped my hand when I realized that I had no right to touch him like that or be this close to him anymore. If I wanted to treat him like a friend, then I couldn't let him come and save me everytime I had a nightmare or got upset about something. I decided not to wake him from his peaceful dreams, since I knew the mess I'd caused in his consciousness.

I hoisted myself up from the mattress and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe it was wrong to be rushing to leave him and get back to Edward, but I didn't let my guilt slow me as I hastily jumped under the water and worked shampoo through my hair. I heard the soft scuffling of Charlie moving around downstairs and wondered why he was still here since it was nearing almost eight in the morning. It was a Friday and I knew he usually left a little later on the last day of the week, but he was almost always out the door by 7:30 the latest. As I was washing out the conditioner, I started planning out my day.

I knew Edward would be at school or at least, I hoped he'd be. I tried to fight off the knot in my stomach. I would have to start trusting him again if I wanted this to work. Putting my faith in a small commitment like this might be a good way to ease myself in. Jacob said he would be back here this morning, so I dared to imagine he would pick me up and drive us to school. My heart swelled at the promise of returning to our routine from before he left. _Could we really just pick up where we left off?_ I shook off the thought and just focused on the day ahead of me.

He would probably come to grab me around 8:30 am to ensure Charlie was gone, but that still only gave me about forty-five more minutes to get ready. I hurried out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel before realizing my idiotic mistake.

I carefully tiptoed back into my room to grab some clothes, praying I wouldn't wake Jacob. I knew I shouldn't be dawdling, but a small, selfish part of me wanted to dress up since Edward would see me. I had been a complete mess from the moment he returned and this felt like an opportunity to prove I could hold my own and plus, what would be the harm in him finding me attractive? I picked out a pale pink sweater that clung to my shape a little more than I usually preferred and black skinny jeans I had found with Alice in Port Angeles ages ago. I was momentarily consumed with excitement at the thought of seeing her again. Surely the rest of the Cullens were back now too. All the more reason to dress in an 'Alice-approved' outfit.

Jake seemed to still be deeply asleep and I was nearly out the door with the clothes tucked under my arm when I walked right into the door frame with my shoulder. He shot up automatically and threw his arms out on the bed next to him as if to reach for me, "Bella!" My stomach writhed with guilt that even in his half-conscious state his first concern was me.

He quickly scanned the room when he felt that I was gone and drank in my half-naked figure practically hiding in the hallway. The wild, fearful look left his eyes, but a more shy, warm one replaced it when he no doubt noted my attire (or lack thereof). I felt my cheeks warm in response and I fumbled a little to ensure nothing was showing. Of course as some kind of karmic justice, Charlie heard his loud cry and jogged up the steps to see me in all of my toweled glory and a visibly stunned Jacob still lying in my bed. My cheeks were positively burning and I scrambled into the bathroom to throw on my clothes. I briefly debated hiding out until they both left, but ultimately decided against it and emerged to face them.

Charlie came over immediately and kissed my forehead, "There she is." I stared at his blatant affection in surprise and he just ruffled my wet hair in response. "I've really got to get going, but I wanted to make sure you were feeling better." His eyes tightened in the corners and I squeezed his shoulder gently in reassurance. The things I put my poor father through. I grimaced, knowing I would put him through worse in the days ahead. At some point, I needed to tell him that Edward had returned. I figured maybe he could help me come up with something, because I honestly had no idea what to say.

"Yeah, Dad. I am," he nodded at me and then shifted a little toward Jake who was still perched on my bed. "Don't be a stranger, Jake." His tone wasn't as friendly as the words would imply; it held an underlying warning and I immediately felt defensive of Jacob. I walked over and sat beside him, leaning lightly into his side. He looped an arm around me and responded with adamant conviction to both us, "I won't. I promise."

Charlie seemed content with his response and headed downstairs, grabbing a few things and then going out to the cruiser. He revved up the engine and left for work. Neither of us said anything for a bit, though Jake kept his arm against my side, reaching up to play with the wet curls that were beginning to form in my hair.

I didn't want to interrupt the nice moment, but I felt obligated to assuage him of the responsibility Charlie kept piling on him, "Please don't worry about what Charlie says. I'm sorry he guilted you this morning." Jake just shrugged easily and kissed my cheek.

"I like protecting you, Bells." My heart lurched in my chest at the simultaneous guilt and happiness that statement instilled in me. I was spared the burden of responding because we both heard the low purr of the Volvo pulling into my driveway. Jake pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut, and sighed heavily. When he opened them, they were much darker than usual and I could see the indecision on his face. He seemed to reach some kind of resolution as he brought his mouth to my hair, directly over my ear.

He didn't say anything at first and I felt the blood pounding in my ears as my heart raced. He exhaled sharply, "I'll be here no matter what, but I'm still fighting for something more." I couldn't tell if it was the warmth of his breath or his words, but I shuddered in his arms and he grinned before releasing me.

I stood and headed downstairs, unable to verbalize any of the mush occurring in my brain. I turned on the faucet in the kitchen and threw some cold water on my face. I certainly couldn't go out to Edward like this. I stared fiercely at the kitchen backsplash and forced myself to calm down. The creak behind me made me whirl around to see Jacob not three feet from me. He was biting back a smirk and his eyes danced over mine, "Flustered?"

I pushed toward the front door before the effects of his comment could register on my face, purposefully bumping his shoulder as I brushed past and he laughed. "Goodbye, Jacob," I growled, slamming the door for good measure. I just heard his laughter become louder as I stomped to the Volvo. I threw open the passenger door and almost climbed into someone's lap. Someone reached out to grab my waist and place me back on my feet. When I looked up and saw her face, I let out a very uncharacteristic squeal, "Oh Alice! I missed you much!"

She squealed back and crushed me in her stony embrace. "Uh Alice," I whispered, breathless, and she lessened her hold marginally. I could feel the tears running down my face. I forgot how good it felt to be near her- my best friend, basically my sister. Edward cleared his throat and I gazed at his stunning face over her shoulder.

"Please don't smother her, Alice. I just got her back," he chided lightly. Alice grumbled a little, releasing me to jump in the backseat. I wanted to tell her she didn't need to switch spots, but I was so eager to sit next to Edward that I didn't care. I climbed into the front passenger seat and he immediately reached out to grab my hand and gently kissed my forehead. He spoke directly against my temple and my stomach flipped, "Good morning, my love."

"Mmm," I hummed happily. "It is now." I watched his whole frame tense and his hand gripped the steering wheel tightly just before I heard the loud rap on my window. I sighed and turned to see Jake's grin through the glass. I lowered it half-way and he leaned down into the door frame. I was beyond shocked when his first words were spoken to Edward.

"First off, thank you for calling me last night." I tried not to gape at his sincere tone and direct acknowledgement of Edward, who nodded politely. He shifted his gaze to me, smirking at my obvious reaction.

"Second, I wanted to remind you about Seth's party tonight. It's just at Sue's and all the guys will be there. Emily's really looking forward to seeing you." His voice was almost pleading and I realized he thought I was going to bail. I quickly put on a smile and tried to ease his nerves, "Of course I'm coming, Jake. Seven, right?" He nodded in confirmation and bit down on the smile spreading across his face.

He leaned back from the car and tapped the hood as Edward began to reverse. I turned back to him and watched the tension leave his body as we drove further away from my house, from Jacob.

"You called him last night?" He glanced at me and nodded, grimacing.

"You were distraught, Bella. Jacob seems more experienced in this area than I am. It was quite the education." I could see how that fact hurt him and I shifted closer, kissing his jaw.

"I'm sorry." I should have probably said more than that, but nothing came to mind and he dismissed it anyway.

"You have nothing to apologize for, love. I don't get to dictate how you cope." The sincerity was there in his words, but so was the bitter resentment. I might have been relieved it wasn't directed at me if I didn't know he held himself responsible.

"I suppose I shouldn't have it easy. I can handle a challenge." My eyes widened at his implication, but he said nothing further and we let the topic drop.

Alice piped up, "So you spend a lot of time on the reservation now?" I knew they both disapproved, but everyone would have to just adjust. If Jacob asked me to stay away from Edward, I'd immediately reject the concept so the same rules applied.

"Yeah, mostly just weekends with the guys. During the week, I'm only there at night." I couldn't shove the words back in my mouth fast enough and I hastily glanced in the mirror to see Alice's eyebrows fly up.

"Not- not like _that_. Billy and Charlie worked out a schedule and we alternate between the houses, since I have trouble sleeping." I hoped mentioning the endorsement from Billy and Charlie would help, but she just nodded slowly and I think it was more for my benefit.

"You know, Bella. Werewolves have a serious temper." Her mistrust was back and she wasn't hiding it this time. I mentally reviewed my run-ins with said werewolf temper and laughed aloud.

"Yes, I'm quite familiar with the hot-head mentality." She stared back at me in the mirror like I was crazy, but I shrugged.

"I've never really been in danger with them. They're just rambunctious boys." I didn't want to feel defensive about the werewolves but I knew they were harmless to me. Edward gave a quiet nose of dissent and squeezed my hand in his.

We were nearing school now and I heard the urgency in his voice, "Do you really think going tonight is a good idea? We can't protect you there and if something happens, I'll break the treaty and I-" He was almost rambling and I was grateful that he pulled into a parking spot, because I just grabbed his face and pulled it to mine.

He kissed me back, but the underlying fear was evident. I broke off and retained some air for a second before addressing him.

"I promise you I will be fine. It's certainly not the first time I've been there and it won't be the last. You just have to get used to it. Besides, it's Seth's birthday and he's my friend." He nodded, a little numbly, and pecked my lips again. He only pulled an inch away from my face and just stared at me for a minute, running his fingers along my neckline. I struggled to keep my breathing even and maintain his intense gaze.

Alice cleared her throat, twice, eventually just getting out and slamming the car door. Edward chuckled and the sound did things to my body. I felt energized and alive with him here, laughing and loving me.

"God, I missed you." I burrowed my face into his chest, embarrassed by the overwhelming truth of that statement. He was rigid for a moment, before winding his arms around me and planting kisses along my hairline.

"I know, my love. Never again."

We didn't move until the last warning bell for class sounded and I still let out a grumble. He laughed and put his arm around me, guiding us to our first class. Both of my classes prior to lunch, I had him with me and he never broke contact with me during that time. He even implored the guy who sat next to me in Trig to switch just so I'd stay at arms length and I certainly wasn't about to complain.

The only pitfall to our arrangement was my pathetic inability to focus on the material with his fingers constantly running along my spine, as he did all morning. I went to bring it up about halfway through our second class, about ready to burst at the seams, but he gave me a light smirk and pressed a little harder, reveling in my reactionary shiver. I glared at him and turned back to staring blankly at my work, but I could feel his amused eyes on mine the entire period.

When we walked into the lunch room, I grimaced at the dozens of eyes scrutinizing our every move. I didn't need vampiric hearing to pick up on the incessant gossip about the Cullens swirling around the cafeteria. Edward stood in line with me as I bought lunch and I gave him a questioning look when I saw his jaw clench.

He bent to whisper in my ear, "Mike Newton is contemplating coming over and asking about my hands on your waist." I saw his eyes darken in anger and maybe a little jealousy, as absurd as that was. I glanced at my typical table and sure enough, Mike's eyes were glued to us, specifically Edward's arm securely wrapped around my hip.

I had a spark of inspiration and abruptly attached my lips to his. I wasn't gentle or subtle, winding my hands into his hair and kissing him with all of the enthusiasm and frustration I'd built up from this morning. Edward was receptive, more than receptive, but I couldn't help the rush of pride I felt when he let out a pleasured gasp.

I decided I'd made my point and resurfaced to replenish my dwindling oxygen supply. He stared at me with lidded, dazed eyes and I laughed.

"I think we gave him something else to watch instead." I turned and grabbed my tray, hurrying toward the Cullen table to avoid seeing his expression. I didn't know where this newfound confidence came from, but I wanted the world to know he was mine. Mike Newton was a start.

I beamed at Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper, seeing them for the first time. I sat down between Rose and Edward, with Alice on his other side and the boys across from me. It felt _right_ to be there with them again. I was home, as Edward twined a hand in my hair and Alice discussed shopping plans this weekend with Rose.

Emmett broke my reverie with a scowl, "I don't even get a hug, Bells? Didn't you miss me at all?" I laughed at his feigned hurt expression.

"This is hardly the place, Emmett. I'll be by the house today or tomorrow for a proper reunion."

"And that little show over there in the lunch line was suitable?" I blushed furiously at his shit-eating grin and kicked him under the table. He pretended to groan and I just buried my face in Edward's shoulder as my face cooled.

He stiffened and I lifted my head to question him when Rosalie spoke, "Bella, why in the hell do you smell like a dog?"

I winced and placed a hand on Edward's chest when he growled at his sister. I knew I had nothing to be ashamed of, but somehow Edward's family knowing about my relationship with Jake made my stomach churn- certainly Rosalie, at least.

"Uh, that's probably my friend, Jacob. He's kind of a werewolf." I stared at the table, not able to meet her eye and heard Emmett's appreciative howl. I rolled my eyes and finally lifted them to glare at him again, but I was struck by the blatant disgust on Rosalie's face. I tried to rationalize that they were natural enemies and I shouldn't internalize her reaction, but then she twisted the knife.

"Huh, you work fast." I recoiled at her words, but couldn't bring myself to refute them. It didn't matter though, because Edward jumped out of his chair with a poorly concealed snarl, drawing eyes from nearby tables. Emmett leapt up too and moved in front of Rosalie, almost coming chest to chest with Edward. I frantically grabbed his hand and squeezed.

Jasper stood as well and wedged himself between them with a stern, "Not here." Emmett abandoned his stance much more readily and I knew it was mostly reflex to protect Rosalie, whether his heart was in it or not. Edward, however, was still rigid and his eyes were blazing as he stared at Rosalie's delicate smirk. My eyes flicked to Jasper's and he nodded in unspoken understanding, sending them both calming emotions.

Edward leaned down toward Rosalie's face and spoke so softly that I had to strain to hear it. "You don't have to like my choices or even respect them, but you _will_ keep your opinions to yourself. And as it relates to Bella, if you speak to her that way _ever_ again, I will destroy every piece of every precious car you own and burn the remnants in front of you." He stalked back to his chair beside me, ignoring her immediate hiss.

As the tension at the table slowly abated, I felt my cell buzz in my pocket. I flipped it open to see a text from Jake.

_I'll pick you up at 6:30 tonight. Hope you wear something pretty ;)_

I rolled my eyes at his juvenile attitude and tried to unravel the knots in my stomach. As much as I hated to admit it, things would not just go back to normal. I remembered clinging to that notion this morning, but I knew now that I couldn't ignore the changes from before he left. Between Rosalie, Jacob, Victoria and the host of other problems, I had to accept that Edward and I would not simply pick up where we left off. Maybe this would make us stronger in the long run, but I was still stuck on the complicated, dismal present.

My outlook brightened considerably when Edward's mouth brushed my ear, "You look absolutely delectable in this outfit by the way." Maybe things could still look up after all.

A/N: Bella saving Edward was a big development for her relationship with Rosalie in New Moon, so their bonding will go a lot slower in this version. Please let me know what you think!


	5. The Hell Storm

The Hell Storm

I was almost grateful my last class of the day was with Alice and not Edward so I could get some damn work done. I was about to spontaneously combust during English since Edward sat behind me and blew cool air onto my neck for the entire ninety minutes. It was a cruel method of torture, but I think I more than paid him back when class dismissed.

I grabbed his hand in a vice-like grip and dragged him toward the janitor's closet. He could have more than easily stopped me, but he followed without complaint as I pulled him inside and slammed him against the door. Maybe I'd feel bad if I didn't know he barely felt it. I kissed him forcefully, slipping my hands under his shirt to trace his sculpted chest. He groaned and was just as feverish against me, winding his hands in my hair and tugging gently.

I pulled back, panting shamelessly, and glared at him. "Are you _trying _to kill me?" He chuckled, gliding his nose along my jaw and inhaling.

"Just making up for lost time, love." His voice was breathy and uneven, making my knees weak.

"Well if you make up for it all today, I'm going to have a damn heart attack." My heart pounded loudly in my chest to affirm my point and he placed his palm over it, pressing down slightly.

"I'll ease up a little. I just wanted you to remember that I can make your heart race too." My mouth fell open at his words and his serious expression to match.

He planted a chaste kiss on my lips and opened the closet door. "Come on, love. We're about to be late."

He left no room for further discussion, dropping me off at Spanish and hurrying to his own class. I walked in and sat down next to Alice, still a little dazed. She beamed at me and patted down my hair gently.

"That was some little make-out session, huh?" Of course she saw. I forgot how pervasive my best friend's omniscience was. I stared at the vocabulary sheet, ignoring the fierce blush on my cheeks. She pulled my water bottle from my backpack and passed it to me.

"Drink, before you swoon and pass out." I rolled my eyes, but took it anyway and guzzled a large sip.

"I bet Jacob's never kissed you like that." I choked on the water and she cursed under her breath, patting my back awkwardly.

I glared at her through watering eyes and struggled to regain my composure. "Jacob's never kissed me period." She nodded thoughtfully and squeezed my knee in an appreciative gesture.

"I had to ask. It's frustrating not being able to see him." I tried to summon some sympathy for her blindness, but I couldn't. I was so disgustingly grateful she couldn't see my interactions with Jacob and that guilt festered in my stomach. It was similar to my relief that Edward couldn't read my thoughts. I wasn't hiding anything from them exactly, but my relationship with Jake was completely separate from the Cullens and until I figured out how to mesh them all, I didn't want anyone rummaging around in my head.

The teacher was playing a documentary about Spanish cuisine for the majority of class, so I could get away with whispering to Alice.

"Alice, Jacob is my best friend. I was really… messed up when you all left and I kind of shut down for awhile. He helped me function and eventually start to adjust. I am a pathetic shell of a person without your brother, but Jake made it easier and I needed him. I don't know how our bond factors into my life now that you're all back, but it doesn't just go away."

She nodded and squeezed my knee again. It was much harder for her to speak back without drawing attention, but she spoke directly into my ear as quietly as possible.

"Bella, I'm so sorry that I let him leave in the first place. I knew how devastating it would be for both of you but you know how stubborn he gets when he makes up his mind. I shouldn't have let him stay away for so long. I knew how it was killing him and he was adamant that I stop checking your future, so I didn't know how much you were struggling or I promise, I would have dragged him back by his hair." We both broke into a laugh, earning a glare from the teacher. Alice paused with a thoughtful expression for a moment.

"I can't ever make it up to you, but I can try by being open-minded about Jacob. He obviously cares about you, so we already have that in common and if something had happened to you while we were gone, Edward wouldn't have survived so I guess I owe him too."

The moisture in my eyes threatened to spill over, so I blinked rapidly until it dissipated. It felt so good to have her back and on my side. I squeezed her hand to express my thanks and she nodded in understanding. Then, a delicate grin graced her face as the intercom chimed.

"You have a doctor's appointment." She whispered to me in a rush.

"Bella Swan to the front office for dismissal." I almost rolled my eyes, but Alice squeezed my knee again.

"He misses you." This time, I did roll my eyes. I saw him forty minutes ago, but the flutter in my chest drew me out of my chair and down the hall. Ms. Cope looked up as I walked in and gave me a warm smile.

"Charlie called about your doctor's appointment saying you probably forgot. You're free to go, Bella." I hid my snort with an unconvincing coughing fit. The sun was just barely peeking through the trees when I exited the building and I realized it was the impetus for my jailbreak. He was sitting in his car with the windows rolled up and I could hear Claire de Lune playing softly as I got closer, climbing in the front passenger seat.

He grinned at me, making my heart stutter, and kissed me lightly. He went to pull away after a minute and I let out a noise of disapproval.

He chuckled against my cheek, "Do you _want_ us to lose control of ourselves in a car? In the school parking lot no less?"

I didn't have a coherent response for at least a minute and I bit my tongue for a minute longer, because my first one was hell yes.

"Don't drive me crazy all day and I won't say yes." He gaped in surprise, covering it up quickly with a grin. Not quick enough.

He leaned back in and I thought for a second that he was taking me up on the offer, making my heart pound. He laughed and placed soft kisses all over my face. I just sighed and enjoyed the sensation.

"My Bella, I need to grovel a little longer before you give in. Don't you think?" No, I categorically did not think as he spoke the words at the skin beneath my ear.

I forced my voice to carry. "Only if this is groveling."

The back door swung open and Alice climbed in. "Don't defile her on school property, Edward."

He groaned and muttered something too low for me to hear. She laughed back, "I'd like to see you try."

I interjected as Edward's fists clenched. "How did you get out of class?"

"I'm in the bathroom."

"Won't they notice when you don't come back?"

"I got lost." I shrugged it off since neither of them seemed concerned. Then Alice straightened up and grabbed my shoulders.

"Alright Bella, what are you wearing tonight?" I groaned and they both grinned.

"I'll admit that today's ensemble is stellar, but I don't trust you picking out swimwear yet." I laughed and Edward let out a disgruntled noise.

"It's October!"

"And they're all like a thousand degrees, I'm sure someone will throw her in whether she's dressed for it or not." I nodded at Alice's assessment and then it was Edward groaning.

Alice gave me a wicked grin. "But Edward, then she will come home to you in a two-piece all wet." I was absolutely positive that I died from embarrassment. Surely, no human could survive all of their blood surging into their cheeks in two seconds flat. Edward took note of my burning state by just nodding with a small smile. I turned to Alice and tried to kill her with my eyes. She was glowing with amusement.

"I said I'd be open minded. I didn't say I'd be nice." She winked and ordered Edward to start the car since 'we had business to attend to'. Edward didn't hesitate and pulled from the parking lot onto the road, reaching his hand up to my face. He stroked his thumb across my still flaming cheekbone. His cool touch simmered the fire under my skin and I leaned my head back against the seat, shutting my eyes and just enjoying the sensation.

I didn't even notice that we parked in front of my house until Alice's car door opened and closed. His lips brushed against mine. I just sighed into him and it was much more gentle than the frenetic pace we had all day. This was just as potent and wonderful. I hadn't opened my eyes, but I was in no rush to stop. I would happily sit here in the dark with my one, overwhelming light.

He paused with his nose gliding along mine and whispered so low I wasn't sure he really said it. "My sweet Bella." He knew I did though when my heart stuttered and then picked up with a vengeance, making him laugh. I finally peeked at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, teasing the hair at the nape of his neck. He sucked in a breath.

"Alice is probably growing impatient." I mused quietly. He locked his hands on mine, keeping them in place around him.

"Let her." He said simply, reconnecting our lips. I wanted to pretend I had some willpower, but I immediately sunk into the kiss. He pulled back and growled under his breath.

"Charlie is four minutes away. Someone tipped him off that we were back. He went to the school to get you because he was scared I would surprise you. They were confused since _he _called twenty minutes ago to let you out. He's on his way to kill me."

"Shit," I breathed. It was stupid, but immediately tightened my hold on him, wanting to protect him. Charlie couldn't really kill him, but I knew the hell storm that was coming.

"You have to leave. I need to say some things to him and you can't hear them. They're not true." He stared back at me and nodded slowly. I watched the mask rise on his face and I ached inside. I knew in my heart he would probably be nearby, listening.

I took his face in my hands and pleaded. "Please, Edward. He's only going to be okay with this if I lie." He nodded again, numbly and I felt helpless. I crushed his mouth to mine and kissed him with everything in me. He kissed me back fiercely and muttered two minutes against my lips. I detached myself from him and turned to open the car door.

"Alice is staying in your bedroom. She'll hide if she needs to but I'm not leaving you alone." I nodded and slid out of the car. He roared away quickly and I stood, toeing the gravel on the driveway. Within another minute, Charlie's cruiser was ripping down the road and he pulled in beside me, jumping out with his gun in his hand.

"Where the hell is he, Bella?" I recoiled at his livid tone.

"He… he just left." Charlie was turning purple and I started to worry he would have a heart attack. "Dad, I need you to calm down. I'm not running off with him. I'm not falling apart."

He was panting furiously and stared at me, incredulous. "You're- you're okay?" His voice cracked and I felt tears welling up.

"Yeah, Dad. I promise." I knew he didn't entirely believe me, but I watched his frame relax and the gun in his hand stopped shaking so much.

"Why did he pull you out of school? Where was he taking you?" The shaking resumed a little.

I swallowed and prepared to start lying. "Alice pulled me out. He was there, but she just wanted to help me get ready for tonight. I'm going to Seth's party on the reservation." Mostly true.

"With Jacob." I added carefully, tasting bile.

He got a crazed look on his face and let out a harsh laugh. "And what exactly does Ed- _he_ think of that?" It wasn't his hand shaking now, it was his whole body quivering with hate and my heart wrenched.

"It's not for him to think about. He doesn't get to just come back and call the shots." I felt disgusting and I prayed with every fiber of my being that Edward was long gone. Charlie just stared at my face, scanning it for any ounce of bullshit. I had never been good at lying, actually I was exceptionally _bad _at lying. But he needed my words to be true, so I hoped he would overlook the blatant deception.

"You didn't take him back?" He was testing me and I knew he was.

I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. "No, I don't know what I'm doing yet."

He nodded a little, but I could tell he didn't really believe me. Then, he turned a shade of green. "Does Jacob know?"

I winced. "Yes."

"He knew last night. That's why he left." Charlie wasn't asking anymore, so I just nodded.

He took a step toward me and gave me a hard look. "You broke last night. For the first time in two months, you broke because he left."

I started to feel indignant and tried to force it back down. He made it difficult. "You love him, Bella. I know you do. He makes you happy and he's normal for Christ's sake. He would never leave you, you know he wouldn't. Why isn't that good enough?"

I fumed at my father. "Maybe it is enough, but what the hell are you thinking?" He gawked at me, but I didn't stop. "I'm not just going to fall in Jake's arms to make you feel better or avoid Edward. Do you really want me to be just as dependent on him as I was with Edward? I can't be with him because I need him or because he won't leave. I have to love him."

He swallowed thickly. "Do you?"

I warred between putting him at ease and being honest. I came into the conversation with a plan, a rational goal. But my emotions were swelling and I couldn't suppress them. "Not like I love Edward. I can't." I whispered the words and watched his face contort.

A weird expression settled on his face. "Get out. Pack your stuff and go." I felt like my ears had cotton balls in them.

"W-what?" My tears spilt over and I struggled to comprehend him. This was not my father.

"You heard me. I won't be home until tonight. I want you gone. I won't watch you kill yourself for him." My stomach was writhing and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I stumbled toward him, not sure what I'd do when I reached him but he held up a hand. The one without the gun, but it was shaking much worse than in anger. He backed away with tears of his own and opened his car door.

"Dad," I called out. He didn't turn around and pulled away without a backward glance. When his cruiser turned the corner, I felt my knees give out and a sob burst from my lips. Edward materialized and caught me, cradling me to him and whispering words I couldn't hear. Alice was there too, pulling me upright and they both led me to the living room. Edward kissed my cheek and stepped out as Alice held me. She didn't say anything as I balled but she rocked us gently and it began to calm me.

"I love you so much, Bella. I'm so proud of you. I promise you this will all work out. He just needs time." I feebly tried to believe her, but I looked around my living room and felt my world slipping away. The pictures on the mantle above the fireplace where I dressed like a butterfly for Halloween and lost my first tooth. My chocolate milk stain on the sofa that Charlie hid with a pillow. His big blue chair that he would rock me in when I was baby until we both fell asleep.

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, emptying my stomach. I sat there on the cold tiles and tried to breathe. How could he tell me to leave? The man who stood across from me out there was not my father. He was withdrawn and empty and I hated him for it, but I hated myself more for knowing I made him that way.

I stood on shaky knees and brushed my teeth twice, dabbing cool water on my face. Alice knocked and I told her I'd be out in a minute. I stared at myself in the mirror and saw the lifeless eyes reflected. I forced the sides of my mouth to tug upward to see what it would look like. The smile was dim at best and it was completely fake, but I kept it plastered on because I wouldn't shut down again. If Charlie wanted me to leave, I'd leave but I wouldn't let it break me. I spent enough time this year mourning a man and I wouldn't waste anymore.

I emerged and met the concerned faces of both Alice and Edward with my barely there smile. I turned to Alice and reached for her hand, which she eagerly gave.

"I have to pack up my clothes, but will you still help me choose an outfit for tonight?" She scrambled to mask her surprise, squeezing my hand and nodding her head profusely.

I glanced at Edward and he wore a tight smile too. "Alice, can I meet you up there in two minutes?" She flitted away immediately and I wound myself around him. He lifted me easily in his arms and brought us to the couch. I settled in his lap and just buried my face in his chest. It was easier to be vulnerable, staring at the underside of his jaw and not his compelling eyes.

"I know you heard most of what I said to Charlie and I'm not mad, because the discussion got away from me and it was much more honest than I intended." He kissed my forehead and let me continue.

"I know separating wasn't easy for you either, but I'm not a vampire. I'm human and I'm bound to you, in a really overwhelming, unhealthy way. I don't know how to exist without you and I don't know if I can change that. I really tried to learn how with Jake and maybe that was just me becoming reliant on him instead of you. I'm mad at Charlie, but I know he's just scared because he knows what will happen if you leave. It's not fair of me to trap you or manipulate you, so I'm giving you an out."

I swallowed my returning nausea. "If you stay, I'm going to start to trust you again and I'll be just as bound as before. I can already feel it. I can let myself if you're sure you won't leave. This isn't a question of you or Jacob. I'm not selfish enough to settle for him because you decide you don't want me. I just need you to decide that you don't want me now while I can still recover."

The only sound for a full minute was my nervous breath in and out. I didn't dare look at him and I tried not to regret just how honest I was being while he was silent. His first action was to run a hand through my hair, then carefully extract my face from his body. He held at arm's length and his eyes burned into mine. His intense look took my breath away and I resisted the urge to back away from its enormity.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel. I needed to organize my mind enough to form a response." I nodded in encouragement and he pecked my nose.

"Isabella Swan, I know you believe I have a soul. I was always adamant that I didn't and most likely I don't. I started to doubt that conviction when I met you and began to love you as much as I do. If I do have a soul, it is tethered to yours irrevocably and I will never deny that tie again in my existence. If I don't-" He cupped my face in his hands.

"If I don't, you are my soul, Bella. I am nothing without you. I will never shed the guilt of hurting you like I did, but I won't ever make you regret that bond again. I'm here for the rest of your life and you can lean on me and love me without fearing that I'll hurt you. Leaving you was the greatest mistake of my existence and I won't simply refrain from making another. I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. I won't let modesty distract from my unwavering intentions. I want to marry you, Bella. I want to meet your crazy mother and win over Charlie one day. I want to take you all over the world and build a life together. I want to give everything you want in life and then some, even though I know most of those things have no allure to you. You are my life and I hope you can begin to believe me."

I felt like I was treading water and I basically was as the tears poured down my face. I pressed my forehead against his and squeezed his shoulders tightly. "Okay," I breathed against his lips.

A/N: I hope you caught that Edward stepped out while Bella was crying with Alice. What do you think he did?


	6. The Bonfire

A/N: This chapter is much more Bella/Jake centric but they had some catching up to do and maybe the playing field is a little more level now...

The Bonfire

Edward just held me after that and maybe I should've been freaking out about the situation with Charlie, but I felt more peaceful than I had in months. Alice eventually started growling from my bedroom and Edward threw me over his shoulder, flying upstairs. I shrieked in surprise and he set me down beside my bed with a grin. Alice already had six bathing suit options laid out and I surveyed them carefully. My cell buzzed in my pocket and I saw Jake was calling me.

"Oh, it's Jake." I said, taking in their reactions.

Edward lifted the phone to my ear. "I know." He said simply as he pressed accept.

"_Bells?"_

"Hey, Jake." I tried to sound cheery.

"_Honey, Edward called me and I'm on my way to the station right now. Don't pack up your stuff. Charlie's being an ass."_

I glanced at Edward and he wore a blank expression. "Jake, he's going to bite your head off if you go there."

"_I seriously doubt that and you know what, maybe I'll bite his off first. He had no business trying to kick you out. Don't worry, honey, I've got this and I'll see you tonight." _

I was struck by the anger in his voice. Good luck, Charlie. "Okay, just be careful, thank you." He hung up and I realized what a truly amazing friend he was. He was going to convince Charlie to let me stay over Edward. I shook my head and turned back to the bathing suits. Edward gave me a wary look.

"I'm fine. I don't know if I can say the same for Charlie though." He chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his chest.

"Well, if Charlie is really serious, you have plenty of options." I raised an eyebrow.

"Obviously, you could come live with us. I'd get you an apartment here if you wanted privacy. Or Jake offered a spot on the reservation. Let's hope it doesn't come to any of that." My jaw went slack and he kissed my cheek. Alice was eerily silent, but she nodded in agreement.

"I'm not moving somewhere you can't go. La Push is out."

"It's an option." He said simply.

Alice conveniently decided to distract me. "Bella, I'm starting to think you're not grateful for my fashion advice. I'm not feeling very appreciated as of late." She pouted and I hugged her, directing my attention back to the choices before me. I pretended to think on it a little longer than my actual decision time, so she knew I was being thoughtful. I settled on a simple, classic red bikini with white polka dots. It was reasonably modest and still cute, plus she picked out a black lace cover-up to match.

I thanked her multiple times for her expertise to reaffirm my genuine gratitude and she left with a beaming smile on her face. Edward followed me quietly to the kitchen as I melted some butter in a pan and began preparing the chicken.

"They won't have food at the party?"

I sighed and rolled the chicken in a pan of breadcrumbs. "They will. I just know the fridge is empty and I didn't want Charlie to be hungry."

My throat felt tight like I couldn't swallow. "Especially if I won't be here, I don't want him to go hungry."

Edward looped his arms around my waist from behind and kissed the top of my head a few times. "He'll come around, Bella."

I nodded numbly and we were silent as I finished the chicken. Even after I cooked Charlie's dinner and dressed for tonight, taking extra time to style my hair and replace the make-up I lost from crying, I had over an hour until the bonfire. I settled on the living room couch with Edward or more accurately, settled on Edward on the couch. He watched an old black and white film playing on TNT and I dozed in his arms.

He woke me up a few minutes before Jake was supposed to get me. I knew something was off from his expression and his tone of voice, but I didn't press. I waited for him to bring it up and as he interlaced our fingers, he started.

"Bella, I want you to be open-minded tonight."

I frowned. "About?"

He wore the mask again and I couldn't decipher his emotions. "I don't expect you to have your mind made up about anything. You told me how you feel and I did the same. Sit with it and see what you think."

"I know what I-"

He cut me off. "Please, Bella. Just try to be open-minded. We'll have all of eternity if that's what you want, but it should be what you truly want."

I opened my mouth and shut it as the doorbell rang. I just nodded my head and pecked his lips, hopping up to answer it. Jake stood on the porch patiently, smiling.

"You ring the doorbell now?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not risking walking in on something." We both shuddered imagining that scenario.

"I know we have to go. Just let me grab my purse and my towel." He slid into the porch rocking chair. I hurried to grab both from the kitchen counter and then to the living room. Edward was sitting right where I left him. I plopped back down on his lap and kissed him.

I pulled back an inch. "I love you. I'll see you tonight." He nodded against my mouth and I stayed an extra minute, absorbed in his kiss. I wobbled a little when I stood and he grinned.

As I walked back to the front door, I tried to shift my perspective. I didn't think of Jacob when I was with Edward. I could keep Edward from my mind with Jacob. I owed him that much. _Be open-minded_. In the privacy of the hallway, I freely rolled my eyes at the sentiment and its futile bullshit.

Jake jumped up when I came out and unlocked the Rabbit. We both climbed in and he didn't speak until we started rolling down the driveway.

He reached for my hand and I let him take it. "Charlie's really mad, but he backed off for today. He fully expects you to stay, at least for tonight."

I squeezed his hand in mine. "He was already mad, Jake. I can't believe you talked him down." A slow smile spread across his face and he shifted closer to me in his seat, keeping his eyes on the road.

"He's mad at _me_, Bells. And I'll gladly take it over the alternative."

"Aw, Jake. That's not a solution. Besides, what does he have to be mad at you about?"

Jake grimaced. "It doesn't matter."

"_Jake?_"

"Bella, he's not mad at you anymore. Drop it."

I wasn't in the position to be demanding, but I still pressed. "Please tell me."

He held my hand tighter and drew in a sharp breath. "I told him I might have left you just like Edward if I really thought it was best for you."

I couldn't fathom the words. "Would you?" My voice was small and fearful and unfair.

"No." He said emphatically. I fought my rising tears. I wouldn't ruin a fun night with any of this. But the reality of the situation stuck with me; I wasn't selfless enough to lie to Charlie to make this all easier. Jake was.

He laughed to himself. "I also told him if I'm playing nice with Edward, he has too as well."

I leaned into his shoulder and he shifted to wrap an arm around me. "Thank you, Jake. Really, thank you."

He chuckled and cradled me into his side. "It's not like I don't have an ulterior motive, honey."

I stiffened, but didn't move. "Well, I'm still grateful."

We reached the edge of the reservation and parked in the beach lot alongside six or seven other cars. I saw the flickering firelight in the distance and we made our way toward it. I carried my flip flops when the gravel became sand.

"You followed my instructions by the way."

"Hmm?"

"You wore something pretty." He grinned and I shoved his shoulder.

I said hello to everyone and gave Seth a big hug. Emily, Paul, and Embry were toasting marshmallows while Leah and Jared battled in cornhole. They told us Rachel and Kim were walking along the beach and Quil was home with Claire since she had the croup. Sam was working late and wouldn't come until later.

Jake and I went down toward the shore and I walked to the very edge, letting it splash my ankles. I jumped back at the feel of the icy water and Jake laughed, pulling off his shirt and wading in easily.

"Are you insane? Jake, you'll freeze." He scoffed and I felt stupid, realizing he could barely feel it. He ran over and scooped me up. I struggled in his arms to break away but as soon as the water hit my body, I was clutching him toward me.

His body heat was the only thing shielding me and I cocooned myself in his arms to hide from the water. It rose to my stomach and I started shivering even with Jake wrapped around me.

"Well, I'm n-n-n-not a werewolf and I'm about to g-g-g-g-get hypothermia."

"Shit, Bells. I'm sorry." He brought me back to the beach and sat us down on his towel, wrapping me in mine and drawing me into his chest.

I smiled against him. "N-no, you're not."

He laughed and squeezed me to him, rubbing my back. "You're right, I'm not."

I wanted to feel guilty about how comfortable I was, but it was too easy to withdraw from the rest of the world in Jake's arms. "It could always be like this you know."

"Hmm?"

"I could always be here, keeping you warm and making you happy." His voice sounded joking, but I heard the solemn promise beneath it.

I held him tighter and said nothing, not wanting to confront all of this tonight. He didn't know I was completely resolved, no matter how many times I confirmed it. Edward didn't either and I drowned in the guilt of leading him on, dragging him through this with me. I burrowed my face further into him to escape that culpability, just using him more.

He read my mind. "You think you're sure what you want, but you're wrong."

I sat up and glared at him. "You don't know what I want."

He shook his head and clenched his jaw. "I'm not saying you don't love him or he isn't the one, but you can't know that yet."

I had my own fire brewing in my chest and the flames licked up my throat. "You don't know how I feel about him or when I'm sure." I wouldn't let my anger boil over and say I _was_ sure.

Jake raked a hand through his hair. "It's not about Edward. You can't be sure because you never gave me a shot."

The wiring in my brain became loose and my jaw fell open. He gave me a wry smile. "You won't even let yourself try to love me. You have no idea what it could feel like if you just stopped fighting it."

I scowled and bled through my filter. "I'm fighting it because I don't get to string you along while I mull things over when I know I love him. It's unnecessary and cruel."

I expected his face to fall and the conversation to drop but something ignited in his eyes. "Let me decide what I can handle. I'm not oblivious, Bella. I know you love him and you're guilty for being with me, but I'm just as responsible. You don't think I feel bad for being grateful he left?"

My immediate retort died on my lips and he cupped my face. "I know how slim my chances are. You're not misleading me, but you're kidding yourself if you think you know with absolute certainty that you can't love me just as much."

He moved closer and my heart hammered in my chest. His words brushed against my lips. "Just try, Bella." I couldn't muster a coherent thought as he lowered his mouth to mine.

It wasn't frantic or compelling. It was gentle and warm and alluring. I didn't understand the way our mouths moved in sync and in some small corner of my mind, I acknowledged I was kissing him back. My brain lagged and my body took over as I pulled him closer. I doubt he even felt the effort and maybe that was for the best, since I couldn't begin to explain my actions. We just fit.

We fit molded to one another as he laid me against the towel and held himself over me. I wound my hands in his hair and his kisses became firmer, more insistent. Maybe if they were smug, I could conjure up some anger. But they were devout and loving and I was drawn back to them over and over.

He pulled back first and kept his weight above me, leaning into his elbows and panting against me. My hands stayed locked around his neck and my mind raced with the knowledge that I didn't want to release him. I was wrong. I had lied to myself to make this easier. And that truth was never more evident than now, clinging to Jake and still tasting him on my lips.

I did love him and not as a friend. Not as Billy's son. As something more that I didn't understand yet. I just had to decide if I was selfish enough to pursue it until I did. I had distanced myself and denied it, because it made everything messy and unclear. But in this moment, my love for Jacob was so enveloping and fascinating. It was new and exciting and passionate and part of me wanted to dive in and explore it.

The guilt and self-loathing were rebounding as my body calmed, but they were muddled. I couldn't think of much else besides Jake directly over me and the residual pounding in my chest. My entire body was pulsing with adrenaline and I felt dizzy staring into his nearly black eyes.

"Thank you," he murmured, pressing his forehead into mine. I sighed and closed my eyes. His mouth ghosted over my cheek, my jaw, my neck. I gripped the hair at the nape of his neck fiercely as a distraction. I teetered on the edge of delirium with his feather light kisses along my collarbone.

"_Jake_." I ached at the desperation in my warning, but I knew I was slipping. He nodded into my neck and sat us up.

"I'll take what I can get. I didn't even expect this." My cheeks flamed in guilt. How had I let myself lose control like that? How had I wanted to?

He must have seen it on my face because he held me close and tried to reassure me. "I asked you too. And it was worth it." He laughed and I groaned.

"I'm just making it harder." I argued, knotting my hands in my lap.

"No, you're being open-minded and I'm getting everything out of it I can while it lasts."

My head flew up, staring at his coy smile. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "He knew?" Jake's smile tightened and my stomach writhed. Edward knew what Jake intended for tonight and encouraged me to go along with it. That logic made no sense.

"I'm just hurting you both."

"No, you're considering your options for the first time." His eyes were alight with hope and it twisted my gut.

"And what happens if I choose him in the end?" I didn't bother to say 'when' because there was no use in hurting him more and in the privacy of my mind, in this singular moment, that conclusion waned infinitesimally.

He shrugged and kissed my cheek. "I'll let you go. At least I'll know I did everything I could and you're really sure."

I wanted to fight him on it and say this was all ridiculous. Instead, I just leaned into him and he hummed against my temple. "Better to have loved and lost."

We rejoined the group and I watched Jake devour seven s'mores. Everyone gathered around the raging fire and I didn't even need a blanket curled up in Jake's arms as the temperature dropped. I glanced at the rest of the circle and saw the distinct pairs; Jared and Kim, Rachel and Paul, Emily and Sam, who finally arrived. I wondered if Jake and I looked like that, unconsciously tightening my hold on him. He bowed his head and kissed just above my ear.

Leah ruffled Seth's hair and snatched the beer can from his hands. He threw her over his shoulder, running toward the beach and she screamed out curses. We all laughed and I relished in the ease I felt with them. Embry was the only one unmatched for the night, but he didn't seem to mind. He was talking to Jared about what sounded like football and every once in a while, one would playfully shove the other. Jared and Kim left first, since Kim was out cold in Jared's arms and he carried her to the car.

One by one, the group dwindled until it was nearing midnight and only Jake and I remained with Seth and Leah. Seth came over to give me a hug and thank me for the concert tickets again. Jake helped me pick out a band he liked, so I figured he would like them but it didn't hurt to see him beam about it.

He turned back to us as he and Leah moved toward their car. "See you guys at Emily's tomorrow."

Jake grumbled and Seth's eyes widened, quickly running away. "Big mouth, that kid."

"What's happening at Emily's tomorrow?"

Jake stood with me and I saw him clearly hesitating. "It's a pack thing. We usually have breakfast at Emily's on Saturday mornings."

"Okay, sounds like fun. Why is that a big deal?"

"It's not really, I guess."

I crossed my arms over my chest and paused. "Jake."

"It's a pack thing." He repeated, scrunching up his face.

"Okay," I drew out the word. "If I can't come, that's totally fine."

"No, that's not it. You _can_ come. It's just kind of exclusive."

I frowned in confusion. "Well then why am I coming?"

He ground his teeth together and I knew this was the topic he was avoiding. He spoke out in a rush. "Usually, it's just the pack and the imprints. We had a meeting last night and since everyone was already gathered, I just asked if I could bring you. It's not a big deal. I don't know why I'm acting like it's a big deal."

I grinned as his ears turned pink and he glowered at me. "Whatever, you don't have to come. It was a stupid idea."

I wrapped my arms around him. "No, I'd love to if you want me there. I'm happy you invited me." He relaxed against me and swung me up into his arms, carrying me to the car. I might have objected but I knew it made him feel better and I was comfy with my ear resting over his heart.

We were driving for about two minutes before I realized we were going the wrong way. "Jake, did you forget about dropping me off?"

He glanced at me and smiled. "Did you even look in your bag, Bella?"

I reached for it and pulled the zipper open. My eyes narrowed at the two sets of clothes and extensive collection of toiletries inside. "Alice."

Jake laughed as we rolled into his driveway. "We thought you could use a night away from Charlie." I felt a warm flutter in my chest that they were in cahoots. Alice promised she'd try, but I didn't really expect much. She had been joking all day, but she was right. I was wildly unappreciative of my amazing best friend. I whipped out my phone and texted her 'I love you'. She responded within fourteen seconds with 'Love you too, Bella. Enjoy your freedom because I'm kidnapping you tomorrow. Girl's day, no boys ;) ' .

I grabbed my bag and we walked into the dimly lit house. Billy was already snoring. He must have fallen asleep with the game on, so Jake shut it off and brought him to his room. I went into the bathroom and changed, halfway through deciding to jump in the shower. I made it quick and wrung my hair out, slipping on my tank and pajama shorts.

Jake found me settling on the couch and rolled his eyes, scooping me up. We barely fit in his tiny bed, since _he _barely fit in it by himself. He read my hesitancy as I climbed in, basically on top of him. "Honey, just go to sleep."

I wasn't in the position to argue when my head met his chest and his arms encircled me. His fingers ran through my hair in a soothing way that made it hard to keep my eyes open. What did me in was the lulling rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear.

I was drifting off, maybe already dreaming, when I heard him whisper. "I love you, Bella."

A/N: There will be more of a balance of Edward and Jacob moments now as Bella decides. Predictions?


End file.
